Monday, July 30, 2012

Acceptance

'That's how it is'
'You'll have to learn to accept that'

These, and others like them, are comments that I have had great difficulty with since I was a child. I have never been able to see why many religious and spiritual traditions ascribe some kind of virtue to
acceptance. Obedience as usually understood is another one that I don't understand.
This is particularly so if what is happening is just plain wrong. I am passionately interested in clerical sexual abuse, and was reading this morning about the scandal in Holland. There I think it is actually even worse than in Britain because of the involvement of the church in political parties so that the cover up of the abuse extends as far as the Dutch parliament.
The targets of these abusers would no doubt have been discredited, castrated (no, seriously), persuaded in various ways. In that situation independence of thinking is paramount, because a major strategy of abusers is to blame the victim. Even if redress is gained, there is then pressure to 'move on', even to accept that it has
happened and forget it.
As a witch this makes my blood boil. I feel no obligation to accept things I know to be wrong. Even if things are not as I will, I will work on changing them. Normally this makes me feel that I am such an arrogant bastard.
I have, however recently gained a new insight on acceptance. Last year I was diagnosed with glaucoma, and have put major efforts into making sure that I can still see when I drop dead. I take my drops religiously, have stopped smoking, improved my diet, and so on. I wouldn't, however, have thought of this as acceptance - who on earth would want to have glaucoma - until I was talking to someone I work with who has recently been diagnosed with diabetes. It hadn't struck me that the opposite of acceptance is denial, and she was totally in denial about her illness, to the extent of not taking her medication and just hoping it would go away.
So perhaps acceptance can mean you accept that the problem is really happening to you, without passively leaving it as it is, rather than deny it is happening at all.
On the other hand I was reading the problem page in some magazine: a woman wrote in to say that her sister was being beaten up by her husband but did not want the police called or to leave him, and what should she do. The advice was to keep in contact with her and offer support until the sister decided she wanted that sort of help. I sat there thinking wtf? So here is the witch's answer: First decide whether keeping your relationship with your sister at all costs is worth more than ensuring her physical safety. If it is not, call the
police and/or social services immediately. If you prioritise your relationship with your sister make strenuous efforts to get her to accept help.Then hex the bastard so that he will never do it again. And I mean never.
And then walk free, knowing that you have stopped another shit from hurting a woman. Know that this is the work of the Goddess, and what witches are for. And remember that if you're going to start accepting things, you might just as well roll over and die now.

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